Why do I second-guess myself?

Second-guessing can happen with big decisions, but it can also show up in small everyday choices.

• Changing your mind soon after making a choice.
• Asking several people what they think.
• Looking for signs that you made the right decision.
• Thinking about what might have happened if you chose differently.
• Feeling unsure even when you had a good reason for your choice.
• Wanting someone else to confirm that you did the right thing.

Sometimes you second-guess yourself because you want to avoid making a mistake.

You may also care a lot about how your choice affects other people. If someone seems disappointed or disagrees with you, that can make a decision you felt comfortable with suddenly feel less certain.

Asking for another opinion can be useful. But if each new opinion makes it harder to hear your own, you may end up feeling less clear than before.

Someone else may have chosen differently from you. That does not automatically make their choice better.

People make decisions based on different needs, priorities and situations. Advice can help you see another point of view, but you are still the person who has to live with the choice.

It can help to notice when another person's reaction starts to matter more than the reasons you had for making your own decision.

One difficult decision does not necessarily mean you have a pattern of doubting yourself.

But if you often make a choice and then begin checking, comparing or asking for reassurance, that may be useful to notice.

Looking back across different decisions can help you see what tends to bring the doubt back and whether the same response keeps appearing.